Let’s Talk About Sex, Baby

I’m having a problem with being a person who talks and writes about sex, and wants to do more of it: I find it kind of hard to take myself seriously. I have TONS to say about this stuff, and I keep starting to share it, and then I think ‘naaah, that’s not worthwhile’.

So I’m going to be doing my first new workshop, on why sex toys are awesome, in a couple of days, and I’m kind of nervous.

My friend reminded me that I know this stuff backwards. I know what I’m talking about here, otherwise I wouldn’t have put the damn workshop together. I know why sex toys are great, and how to choose one that works for you. I know how to talk to a partner about introducing sex toys. I know what is good quality and what’s not. What’s worth spending your hard-earned cash on and what’s, frankly, trash.

My friend pointed out that I’m pretty damn good at presenting stuff. I don’t say um (a lot). I’ve got a fair amount of charisma. I’m just arrogant enough to know this, but not so arrogant as to be unlikeable. I’m kind of cute. I have drama training, so you can hear me at the back.

He pointed out that people actually are interested in this stuff. And that’s where he lost me. I, personally, am totally interested in this stuff. I think this is crazy important stuff, because how we feel about our sex lives can change our whole outside-of-sex lives. I’ve seen it. This, after all, is why I want to do this.

There’s a little voice, though, that keeps telling me that I am kidding myself. That I’m overstating the importance of sex. That people won’t take me seriously as an intelligent and knowledgeable person if the thing I talk about is sex. That talking about sex is somehow boring.

I know, right? Even as I write that I can see how stupid that is. That is, actually, why I’m writing this blog post. So I can remind myself why I do this; why I want to do this.

That little voice is the world, the Man, the society, the Media, the patriarchy, the religion.. the whatever-it-is that would like us to shut up and not talk about things that might help us be free and happy … That little voice would like me to believe that I have nothing valuable to add to people’s lives, or to my life, by talking about how fun and lovely and, yes, important, sex is.

I would like that little voice to STFU. I will try to drown it out by talking more.

Hit me up with a nice letter to cherrytart AT heycherry DOT co DOT za and I’ll talk to you about it, if you like.

Leave a Reply